czwartek, 29 września 2016
Random thoughts about health and sugar addiction.
This week I'm on a training and we're having a coffee break right now. Involving (of course) a lot of sweets. But since I am no longer that kind of a person (I hope) I run away from that sinister room, just grabbing quickly two chocolate cookies and an orange juice (sadly not fresh squized). I'm still vulnerable and not self confident enough so I really have to use this kind of techniques of avoiding sweet allures. Now I'm standing in front of the building, enjoying the autumny weather and decided to share with you some thoughts about health and eating well. Or more accurate- about how to break up your relationship with sugar addiction.
It's not easy to do it. Only you can motivate yourself but still it won't be easy. Each person has their own way to achieve their goals. It was the same with me. I've been trying so many times to cut down on amount of sugary things I've been eating since I started working in an office. You know this story- repetitiveness at work, boredom and this bad feeling growing inside us- the feeling that we lost our chance for something better. Classic and simple way to start eating unhealthy snacks. After seven years of treating my body so bad I changed into some chocolate monster. I can't even say when it had started. But I can say one thing for sure. I was a monster. I could eat even two bars of chocolate a day. I was fat (still am), always sleepy and with less energy than I used to have. It was high time I stopped following that destructive way.
I can't count how many times I tried to achieve this difficult task. I tried and tried. Almost every day I was telling myself I should stop, but It was useless. Then, one beautiful day, I found a solution. I just had to change my surroundings for a while. I needed a therapy in a completely different enviroment. I knew I would have to come back to my office at the end, it was inevitable. But I had to start somewhere.
Luckily my holidays were about to start so I seized the chance. It was perfect time to do something crazy. So I did. I asked for an unpaid leave, mixed it with my normal holiday days and left my country for a month. Furthermore I had to take a small loan. I know it was quite crazy but sometimes you just have to risk. My therapy cost me a great sum of 2000 euros but it was totally worth it. Besides, it was my holiday so this therapy was a great fun.
My new background turned to be in Spain. I went to Lanzarote for a month, to learn english and spanish, but at the same time to work on my willpower. It was the best opportunity. When you have something you want to forget about you should draw attention from it. So I planned a lot of swimming, walking and many other activities. Without spare time it was a great chance I was able to avoid temptations. The perfect weather was to help me with my goal.
My greatest weaknesses was not only chocolate but also coca cola. When I was planning my theraphy at home, I decided not to buy sugary things at all. But as you can prefigure things turned out to be completely different from what I imagined, I think I simply overestimated my powers. Everything seemd so simple at home, but plans and hopes often differs from reality...
First days of my new life were difficult. I bought not only two bars of chocolate on my first visit to a shop, but also a can of coca cola on the sixth day of the trip, right after climbing a very high mountain. I nearly gave up the gost when I climbed on that peak. I had not enough water and I craved for a bottle of coca cola during the climbing. I couldn't put this thought out of my mind. When we finally reached the peak it was too late to go to a shop. On this account I wasn't able to buy myself a nice bottle of my favourite drink. But I promised myself I would do it the very next day. When this day happend I immidiately run to a shop to buy a can of coca cola. And even if I didn't really need it, (I wasn't even thirsty), I bought it. We were about to go for a next trip, without a shop within reach (again) so this time I wanted to be on a safe side and be prepared for everything. I thought if I didn't feel thirsty I wouldn't drink it. I just wanted to have it with me just in case. How stupid I was. But it was all so me. As you can imagine, I drank the beverage almost immidiately when we got to our destination. Why? Because I had it. Well...
The same was with chocolate. I always bought some bars just in case, even if I didn't crave for one. Not much changed in Spain. It was a bad start, I know. But it was better day after day. I started to plan my days carefully and made myself too busy to think of chocolate. Besides it was too hot to buy it, for example, during the trip to a beach. I had to eat a whole bar straight away or it would melted in two minute's time. And I like to enjoy every piece of my chocolate. I didn't want to eat it in a hurry, like a hungry animal. I think that helped me the most.
I was changing slightly day by day, but I still had to buy bars of chocolate on my visits to Lidl. Just in case of course. I just needed that feeling, that certainty that I have something sweet in my fridge. But you know what? Finally, one day, I noticed that it wasn't me who ate all that chocolate I was buying. It was my husband! The one who always shouted at me for buying too many bars. And when he emptied my stock of food I had to resupply it. Just in case, again. A vicious circle. It was time to broke that habit. Because even if I didn't eat that chocolate, I still had to buy it. That thought was a bit destructive for my soul.
The first step was small, I couldn't stop just like that. You must remember- this habit lasted for seven years! It would be a miracle if I just stopped one day. So I bought two identical bars of chocolate, one for me, one for my husband. I wanted to have my "just in case" bar, without no one to eat it. And you know what? It was it! A success! My husband ate his bar in two days and bought another one (all by himself) but I have mine for a whole week. It would be longer but in the end I share my chocolate with my man. But finally I was feeling safe, having my own bar of chocolate in the fridge. And when I had that feeling in me I finally didn't have to buy next bars, because I lost that anxiety in me. From that day I enjoyed my precious chocolate at peace and ate just a piece per day, not more. Accordingly, after two weeks of living like a chocolate monk I found that chocolate brands I loved before suddenly became too sweet. In this way, just in the middle of my month's trip, I found myself sticking only to dark chocolates. And I ate less and less... Now it's only a piece or two during the day, sometimes nothing. Sometimes I don't even think about it. But sometimes I do :) It's not easy to change completely, don't believe in miracles ;)
Furthermore I completely forgot about coca cola (of course those changes also lasted more than a day) and started to drink juices instead of it. At the beginning I had to change cola into something more healthy but still, cointains sugar. Remember, everything we do should be done in tiny steps, that is the key to a success. That's why I started with normal juices (with sugars added), then went into fresh juices, without sugars, to finally complete my long trip with water. When I came back from my holidays I was a new person. My eyes didn't spark at the sight of a can of coca cola or a bar of sweet chocolate. When I was in a shop my hands weren't trembling while walking in an aisle full of chocolate but I just passed by indifferently (well, almost).
Now I feel much better. My migrenes are visiting me less often, I don't have to nap every day and generally I'm more active. I didn'lose much weight but I still like myself better. I think I have to wait some more time and I will manage to lose more kilos. When I came back to my normal life I started to eat slightly more sugar than on that trip, but I am not a sugar fun anymore. I have many hopes for the future. I don't want to go back to my old life, that's for sure. I don't want to change into anti sugar freak either. I'm not going to search each food looking for the smallest amount of sugar, it's too sad. I'm just going to stop eating so much sweets. Do you think I'll manage? Well, we don't know what future brings us but I have high hopes. I just have to watch myself, especially at work, and it should be fine. Wish me luck!